All of my life I had bottled up feelings. I had been strong. I had controlled my emotions.
I wasn’t a walking unfeeling marble statue. I did let loose some emotions. But I never really fully let go.
I never allowed myself to feel it all completely. I never surrendered. I was always fighting reality.
When I finally relinquished my hold on trying to control everything, it all changed. I allowed it to fall, to break free. I held nothing back.
It was here, in this moment, I finally grasped that accepting where we are is the most important step in any change process.
It was the only way through any journey of pain, to allow yourself to feel it without judgement. From the maelstrom of confusion, darkness, hail, wind, and rain in my mind, the storm started to pass.
It was like waking up lying on a beach after a shipwreck. Battered and bruised, feeling empty inside, lost, lonely, not knowing where you are, where you are going or how. But in the center, deep inside, there is a calm. Something that whispers, “The worst is over.”
– Keith Clarke